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Most young girls who grow
up in America hear the story of Rapunzel dozens of times. It seems innocent
enough. But closer analysis reveals a very interesting bit of moral proselytizing:
The maiden indulges in sins of the flesh, and for this she is punished.
So the lesson to be learnt, little girls, is stay pure if you want to
keep your pretty curls.
| Maidenhood, then, was historically a combination of
chastity, beauty, youth, naivete, and purity. Girls avoided “temptation”
until they were physically able to produce children, meaning the moment
they commenced menstruation. Those who partook in premarital relations
were tainted and no longer desirable mates. Often, they were doomed
to become spinsters. |
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If you think this concept is obsolete, you’re partially right.
Gone are the times of hair-chopping and eye-gauging to punish teenage
lust (we hope),though elsewhere, female genital mutilation is still practiced
to discourage premarital sex through the loss of pleasure. According to
the western notion of womanhood, however, the pre-pubescent female continues
to occupy a precarious social space, and in some ways it is even more
complex than in the days of princes and princesses.
Firstly, by modern notions, a young girl continues to be defined by her
bodily functions. Once a girl begins menstruating, she rises to the title
of “woman.” A friend of mine recently told the story of her
first menstruation, which occurred at school. She called her mother to
declare the news, and when she returned home her entire family was anxiously
awaiting her with a cake that read, “Congratulations, Ally! You’re
a woman now!”
Aside from damaging embaressment, what does this signify?
Whereas before, menstruation indicated the advent of a husband and babies,
today it has taken on a variety of meanings, that are often contradictory.
On one hand, menarche is a rite of passage amongst peers:
"Middle school was a rat race to see who bled
first. If you were in the fifth grade, you were an early bloomer, and
the girls were jealous of you, while the boys were fascinated by you.
If you were in the seventh grade, you could feel relieved at being normal,
though of course you never really thought that, since you should have
gotten it in October not November. And if you were in the ninth grade,
or worse, older, you were a late bloomer, and probably got made fun
of for being underdeveloped, which most often manifested itself in taunts
such as, 'Well look, it’s flat-chest-ka!' 'Did you get bitten
by mosquitoes?' And so on."
While an indicator of social status that can infer positive (or at least
popular) effects, menstruation can also be a very scary experience. Some
girls simply are not prepared for it.
And then there are the secondary sexual characteristics that accompany
menarche: Breasts, hips, weight gain, pubic hair. It can be terrific for
some girls, disconcerting for other girls, and confusing for still others.
The latter reaction is even more likely in light of conflicting body expectations
that young girls face ad naseum.While this generation is more comfortable
talking about body issues than previous generations, it would be hasty
to disregard the age-old emphasis on bodily purity. This is especially
true in cultures that place a high value on religion, and/ or family honor,
both edicts that stress group wellness over individuality.
And while the medieval maiden was free to consummate after menarche, given
it was with her husband, the modern “maiden” may be declared
a woman in body, but not in heart or mind. That is, the line between maidenhood
and womanhood is ambiguous, and is not necessarily drawn at physical milestones.
But sometimes it is! A ten year old girl with a fully developed body
will be treated as a fifteen year old. Is she a woman? Is she capable
of physical and emotional relationships with older boys or men? Most of
us would declare a resounding no! But this is a valid concern for many
young girls. There is a great example of this in literature: Click
here to read a summary of "Lolita," by Vladimir Nabakov,
a story of adult male lust for pre-pubescent girls
The matter is further complicated by a media-saturated society that has
stumbled upon the realization that... sex sells! So a thirteen year old
girl who is not greatly developed flips through YM and sees what she should
look like, and switches on MTV and there are forty large breasted, big-hipped
women swarming around one male singer, and on the radio she hears Britney
Spears cooing, “I’m a slave....” and then suddenly she
needs to buy make-up and a push-up bra, and go on a diet, and she might
as well start working on her kegal exercises.
Adolesence is by virtue conflicted, and not just for girls. But girls
are the ones who have to acknowledge the pressures of traditional “maidenhood,”
and interpret the numbing images of sexiness, and reconcile the changes
in their bodies, and somehow make sense of it all. What is important is
that girls understand that these conflicting expectations are constructed
by the world in which they live. That might not make "maidenhood"
(or the transcendence thereof) any easier, but at least girls don't have
to feel like it's their fault for not living up to ubiquitous ideologies.
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