I Had my beautiful baby (okay, my big boy) Sebastian in 1996 when I was twenty. At the time I was attending LA Community College and working for a jewelry manufacture as a secretary—I mean customer service representative. My boyfriend was attending UCLA and I agreed to work until he graduated. Fortunately, I had support from his family for day care. It was hard to leave him while I worked because I felt guilty and also jealous that his grandmother was enjoying all the early stages of babyhood with him. My social life did change because I no longer had the same freedom as before, but many of my friends also had babies, which made it easier. We would get together and hang out with the kids. Two of the biggest changes that I felt after having him were the overwhelming sense of worry that comes with motherhood and the other was weight gain, stretch marks and dripping breasts. Before I had Sebastian I really did not understand the concept of worrying for anyone, not even myself. However after I had him, every minute was agony with out him because I would torture myself with a million and one scenarios of danger. The effects of pregnancy on my body were the worst of these changes. In the woman objectifying society that we live in, I felt the need to please. I went on diets and exercised, but no matter how hard I tried I couldn’t lose a pound. I couldn’t go anywhere with out my milk soaking through my shirt. –And stretch marks, I am happy to say—I escaped that tragedy. Yet the most nerve wrecking and paradoxically surprising was the break up with his father. Not only was I dealing with the pressures of motherhood, now I had to do it alone. I now consider this a blessing in disguise because it made me strive for more, both for Sebaastian and myself and the hopes of a better future. I can honestly say that it’s the hardest thing I’ve ever had to do, but I believe it made me a better person. I wont go into the details of the drama, but let’s just say for a long time I thought that all men were dogs! However, now I see the light and know that there are good guys out there who don’t take the act of raising a child lightly, even if it’s not biologically his.

One of the most difficult things about pursuing your education and raising your child alone are the conflicting time restraints they impose. While most Universities don’t provide the kind of resources I needed as a single parent/student, I am proof you can still achieve. The conflicts arise from the standpoint of a career and motherhood. I want to be a lawyer, although I don’t think that I will be going to law school right way. For now it’s on the back burner, primarily because I feel that over the last five years I have, in a sense, lost time with my son. I have always had custody of him but in between midterms and finals, it can sometimes be hard to spend quality time with him. For the near future I want to be closer with him and guide him as he grows. I think that he and I will always have a special relationship because we are growing together. When making decision about my future in regards to my career I always put my son first, because regardless of what I chose I want to feel that I was a the best parent I could be. Supermom would be nice!

--Melody Gomez